Pain begets Love
by Mindige0
Summary: <html><head></head>Lex finds out Clark's deepest darkest secret and turns his back on Clark and a prank at school leaves Clark no choice but to attempt to do the one thing that no one thought possible; sending him away from Smallville and away from Lex. Will Clark's pain finally make Lex realize that Clark is in the one thing in the world that is worth fighting for?</html>


"Hi Lex" Clark said with a smile on his face at seeing his best friend. After he spoke his words he waited for a response that did not seem to be coming from his friend.

"Lex" Clark said his voice holding a questioning in it. Lex then sighed before he spoke.

"Clark" Lex said before sighing again and going back to working on the computer. Lex had been trying to ignore Clark and his greeting, but is seemed to not be.

"Clark" Lex said one last time before he was stopped by the ding that his computer made when a new e-mail message came. Clark watched Lex for all of five minutes before he decided that coming and saying hello was just a bad idea, as it had been for the past month. Their relationship had been rocky for the past month; due to the secret that had been broken open late one night while Clark and Lex were at the castle.

~_Flashback_~

"_Lex, you can't be serious about this? Truth or dare?" Clark said his voice showing the humor, shock and fear all at once._

"_Sure, it is the perfect way to get to know each other better" Lex said with a smirk on his face. Lex would now be able to get the one secret out of Clark that he had wanted for years._

"_Okay" Clark said hoping that Lex would not ask the one question that Clark dreaded answering for Lex._

"_Okay; truth or dare?" Lex said before smirking in response when Clark said truth._

"_Do you have a crush on anyone besides Lana?" Lex asked Clark and then watched as Clark turned bright red._

"_Yeah" Clark said before blushing and jumping into his question._

"_Truth or dare"_

"_Truth"_

"_Do you have billions like the papers say you do?" Clark asked knowing that he would never ask Lex about his personal life._

"_Yes, but only by my father's doing" Lex said before smirking because of his next question._

"_Truth or dare"_

"_Truth" Clark said and then regretted it the moment the end of the question came out._

"_What?" Clark said stunned for a moment that Lex would ask him that sort of question._

"_I said, what is the huge secret that you won't tell me about your self?" Lex said leaning back in his chair to watch as Clark squirmed around before answering._

"_I….I…" Clark said floundering on how to not to tell Lex that one secret that he had hid from all others._

"_Clark" Lex said his voice taking on a steel tone that left Clark with chills._

"_I….I tried to kill myself when I was a freshman" Clark said before standing up and making his way out of the house and back to the farm where he could brood in peace, he never looked back to see the shock and something else in Lex's eyes at the admission by the young man._

_Clark had seen the disgust that lay in Lex's eyes when he saw him the next time and he could only hope that his friend would see past all of that to the real Clark._

~_End of Flashback_~

It had taken a lot from Clark in the end try and visit the bald billionaire after the secret had been spilled. From that point on, Lex seemed to be busy or out of pocket when Clark was around or called. Clark took the hint and stopped his advances to see Lex. Clark knew when he was not wanted and he could tell that he was not wanted at the castle by Lex, so he only went there when it was time to deliver the produce and only then would Clark try and see Lex with less than stellar results.

Clark had only stopped in the den as a last ditch effort to see Lex, to make sure that Lex was okay and things were going well. He had luck with him this day since Lex was sitting at the glass topped desk working with his laptop. Now though, Clark wondered if even stopping by was a good idea. The older man had given Clark the cold shoulder the whole time and was only now getting angry due to Clark's persistence. Clark walked out of the room and the castle muttering to him self about how stupid it had been to even try and see Lex let alone be able to talk to the man.

"Clark, honey" Martha called as she saw the truck pull in the drive.

"Hey mom" Clark said jumping out of the truck and making his way to where Martha stood with an apron around her waist.

"All done" Martha said eyeing her son and the sadness that was there.

"Yeah, where's dad?" Clark said avoiding his mother's gaze since he knew that she would see the deep pain that was reflected in his eyes.

"Out with the cows" Martha said before turning and making her way into the house to finish the dinner that they would have that night. Clark followed her and then began on the mini project that he had given himself.

"Supper will be ready in ten minutes" Martha called through the house, which had Clark on his feet and in the bathroom within seconds. It was as Clark was washing his hands, that he noticed the two scars that showed his failure at killing himself.

"Why would Lex want to be friends with a suicidal teen?" Clark mumbled under his breath and he ran the tip of his index finger over the scar on the opposite wrist.

"Clark" Martha called breaking Clark out of his morbid thoughts. Clark thumped down the stairs and arrived at the kitchen just as his father made his way to the kitchen from washing his hands as well. The conversation over dinner were of the gossip of the town and Clark's latest project that kept him occupied since the homework that his teacher gave him weren't hard enough for him.

One month later, had Clark arriving at Smallville High and making his way to his locker. Clark stopped short when he noticed that his locker had been written on. Items like "freak", "loser" and "not wanted" were the highlights of the degrading things that spilled over on his locker. Clark took a deep breath trying to calm him self since he could see Whitney Fordman as well as Pete Ross over by their lockers laughing their heads off. Clark spun the combination and opened the locker only to be faced with the locker filled with red jell-o. It was at this time that Clark began to break down; due not only to the hate and scorn he was receiving from his peers but also of Lex's attitude toward him. Just as Clark began to break down the bell rang signaling that it was the beginning of school and that they needed to get to class.

"Mr. Kent" a male voice said breaking Clark out of his thoughts of leaving Smallville and life behind.

"Sir" Clark said turning around while wiping the tears that ran down his face away.

"What happened?" The man said looking at the destruction that had occurred in Clark's locker.

"I don't know, I just showed up and this was here" Clark said gesturing with his hands the jell-o that now lay on the floor and the words written on the outside on his locker.

"Alright, how about we call your parents to come and get you?" The teacher said worried that Clark would break down and do something rash, which is what he didn't need right now. Clark just nodded his head and followed the teacher to the administration office to place the call for Clark. Ten minutes later Martha Kent arrived with her hair frizzing out around her and her eyes spoke of revenge on the people who had done this to her son.

"Mrs. Kent" the principal and teacher said as Martha arrived to the office.

"Gentlemen" Martha said before walking over to where Clark sat rocking back and fourth.

"Clark" Martha said her tone soothing and full of love, hoping that Clark would break of the trance that he seemed to be in. This had happened only once before and that was before Clark had tried to commit suicide.

"Mom" Clark said looking up at his mom with a lost look on his face. It was then that Martha knew that her son would soon be trying to kill himself again.

"It's going to be okay" Martha said before patting Clark on the shoulder and whirling around to take eight pounds of flesh from the principal of the school.

"Is there a reason Mr. Gibbons that not only does my son's locker has foul things written on it, but also that his locker was full of red jell-o?" Martha said waiting to see what Gibbons would come up with for an answer.

"Mrs. Kent, I can assure you…." Gibbons got no further before Martha started in on him.

"You Mr. Gibbons you will not stand there and assume me of some sort of bull about not knowing what was going on. One of the students in this school that had *access* to the school after hours took it upon themselves to destroy Clark's locker and books. Which if you think we will pay for, you will be in a sad position." Martha said getting angrier at the thought of the person getting away with it since they were probably one of the privileged students at Smallville High.

"Mrs. Kent" Gibbons said before shutting up when Martha glared at him to shut the hell up.

"You will not only find out who did this but you will also expel them. If I find out that it was one of your athletes that you are so fond of, you will have the wrath of not only me but Jonathan's as well." Martha said before turning once again and guiding Clark out of the school.

"Oh and one other thing, Clark won't be in until you find out who did this, and you won't penalize him for it" Martha said as she made her way out of the building and to the waiting car that sat in front of the school.

"Mom" Clark said his eyes taking on a lost look.

"It will be fine" Martha said before buckling Clark in and driving home. Once they arrived home, Martha helped Clark get into bed for a nap; hoping that things would be better for him when he woke.

"Those….those bustards! How dare they do that?" Martha shouted down stairs while Jonathan made his way into the house.

"Honey" Jonathan said as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"Dear….those bastards that Clark goes to school with thought it would be funny to fill Clark's locker up with jell-o and then wrote horrible things about him on his locker. Principal Gibbons just wanted to push it under the rug as no big deal and only a prank. I refuse to allow Clark to go there any longer if this is the sort of treatment he is going to get. He has already tired…." Martha couldn't get the next words out for fear that Clark would try to commit suicide again.

"I know…well then what are we going to do?" Jonathan said thinking of anything that might make up a good idea for Clark and the rest of his schooling.

"I don't know, but I plan to find something for Clark. He doesn't need to be there" Martha said before she plopped down on the chair next to Jonathan and sighed. They both knew that something would have to be done and done soon but neither could think of anything.

"I had hoped that Lex would understand Clark" Martha said sighing to the fact that the friendship that had started out so well seemed to have wilted and died.

"Luthor?" Jonathan said before a bark of laughter come after it.

"Luthor was only worried about himself and when the friendship or Clark became uninteresting he dropped Clark. That is typical Luthor" Jonathan said, hoping to show Martha that Lex Luthor was just like his father and that they need not hope for his help with their son.

"I think that you are right" Martha said before she stood up and made her way towards the computer that sat in the living room.

"What are you doing" Jonathan asked curious to what his wife was doing.

"Finding something for Clark" Martha said before logging on to the computer and internet. It was some time later that Martha found the answer she was looking for. It seemed that there was an academy in Leavenworth, Kansas that took in children that were troubled and talented.

"Jon" Martha called out to her husband when she finally found something, which could be the answer for Clark and his schooling issue.

"Dear, do you think they will take Clark?" Jonathan said worried that a place like that wouldn't take Clark due to him being on the poorer side of life.

"Don't know, but I plan to write to see if there is an openings" Martha said as she opened the e-mail account that Clark had set up for them on their website. It was while Clark's parents were down stairs trying to find a solution that Clark began to mutter to himself about how worthless he was and that he didn't deserve to live. Clark knew what he had to do, and he knew he had to do it soon so that he could put everyone out of their misery.

"Tonight….I'll do it tonight" Clark said with a resolve that only cropped up for Clark when he was really sure on what he was doing. Hours later after supper had been severed and discussion about the possibility of Clark going to the academy had Clark waiting until his parents fell asleep before moving out to the barn where the knife that he had used for the first suicide attempt was still hidden. At 2 AM in the morning found Clark making his way to the barn and hopefully to relive the pain and anguish that Clark had to endure these past few years and months. Clark arrived at the barn and then made his way up to the loft area that he had called his fortress of solitude for the past few years.

"There you are" Clark whispered to the knife that looked as if it had seen better days. With a smile on his face Clark sat down near the loft opening so that he could see the stars and watched them as the life drained out of him, only to be drawn into the stars after his death. Clark glanced at the house one last time before bringing the knife down the scars that already ran up his forearms.

"Good bye and I love you" Clark said with tears in his eyes and he brought the knife down harder than last time to make sure that his blood would drain faster than the first time he had done it. After the four cuts were made, Clark watched the stars with a sense of calm in his heart that he hadn't felt in a long time. An hour later had Martha waking with sheet terror in her heart, for she knew in her bones that something was wrong with her son.

"Jonathan get up" Martha yelled to her husband as she ran around to find a pair of pants to put on so that she could go out to the barn to make sure that Clark wasn't out there dieing on her. As she made her way closer with Jonathan by her side she could feel in her bones that Clark was there with cuts on his forearms that would be harder to close than before.

"Clark!" Martha yelled as she saw her son lying on the loft floor looking at the stars. She was afraid that they hadn't made it in time.

"Mom" Clark whispered with tears running down his face. He loved his parents more than anything and he couldn't deal with the thoughts of what sort of burden he was on them.

"Clark" Martha said grabbing her son and yelling for Jonathan to call the police or someone to come and save her baby. While Martha rocked back and forth with her son in her arms unconscious again, Jonathan made a call to one of the doctors that he knew at Smallville Memorial Hospital. The crunk of gravel had Martha hoping that her son would be alright.

"Martha" a male said that was dressed in scrubs and looked like he just came from the hospital.

"He tried it again" Martha said recognizing the man as he approached them.

"Oh god!" The man said before dropping to his knees and looking over the cuts that Martha had tried to stop up.

"Jonathan" the man called hoping that the man was somewhere close.

"Ethan" Jonathan responded at the bottom of the stairs.

"Get my bag out of the car" Ethan said as he began to investigate the wounds and the veins that lay below the cuts. Jonathan returned a few minutes later with the bag in his hand and tears running down his face. He didn't know what he would do if he lost Clark, they may have their rough patches but he loved his son more than life itself. It was a long ten minutes later that Ethan declared that Clark would live, but that it was advisable that Clark go to the hospital.

"No, as soon as he goes the whole town knows and that isn't what we want" Martha said torn between sending her son to the hospital to heal or keeping him home so that he wouldn't have the backlash that teens had for committing suicide and failing.

"I understand that, but he needs to go" Ethan said rubbing his forehead due to the migraine that he could feel approaching.

"Please" Martha said hoping that Ethan would allow for Clark to stay home so that he could heal in peace and not with the whole town breathing down his neck and making fun of him as they tended to due already.

"Okay, but he needs to get help and ASAP" Ethan said thinking of what sort of help that Clark would need.

"What should we do?" Martha asked knowing that Ethan would have some sort of answer for them; he always did when it came to Clark.

"He needs help and needs to be somewhere that would help him instead of the environment that he is in now at Smallville High." Ethan said thinking of a friend that worked at an academy in Leavenworth, which might be where they should send Clark for his recovery.

"Okay" Martha said relived that Ethan had the same thought as she did as to what should happen to Clark.

"So do you have any suggestions?" Martha said wondering if Ethan knew of somewhere that sounded or was better than Celestino Academy, that was located in Leavenworth. It was a four hour drive in the opposite direction from Metropolis from Smallville, but if it helped Clark; Martha would do all in her power to get her son somewhere safe so that he could heal and get some self-confidence that was non-existent.

"I have a friend that works at an Academy that might be the best place for him." Ethan said while bringing out his cell phone to check and see if he still had their number in his cell phone try and call his friend first thing in the morning.

"Where?" Martha asked with Jonathan now standing by her as she still held her unconscious son.

"Celestino Academy" Ethan said before noticing that there was a look of recognition to the name.

"Heard of it?" Ethan said before slipping his phone his pocket now that he had seen the number and picking up some items that were in his medical bag.

"Actually we have, I was it on the internet looking for a new school for Clark to attend and this one sounded like the perfect place for Clark." Martha said knowing that Ethan would agree with her on that.

"Good, so don't be surprised if my friend is here to escort Clark back to the academy after the headmaster approves his attendance."

"We won't and we can't thank you enough for what you have done for Clark and us." Martha said wanting to give Ethan a hug but not wanting to leave her son to the cold barn floor of the loft.

"Don't mention it, you all are like family" Ethan said with a happy smile on his face.

"And you could be no better addition for our family" Martha said before kissing Clark on the forehead and standing up.

"Mom" Clark croaked out as he woken up due to Martha's movement.

"Its okay" Martha said patting Clark on the shoulder and then asked for Ethan and Jonathan to move Clark down the stairs in the house so that Clark wouldn't wake up in the loft alone. Two days later found Clark waking up in his room fully confused on what was going on.

"Mom" Clark called out hoping to get some sort of response. It was a short while later that Martha arrived to the room to check on her son, when she noticed that Clark was staring back at her.

"Clark" Martha said surprised and happy that Clark had finally woken up. He had been in and out of consciousness and Martha was beginning to wonder on if they should have taken him to the hospital just in case. It seems that her worries were for nothing.

"What happened" Clark asked remembering trying to kill himself but then things after that were fuzzy.

"Well…." Martha said looking into Clark's eyes and seeing that he already knew the part about him trying to commit suicide again, so she decided to move on.

"I woke up with a sinking feeling in my stomach and came to check on you. You were not in your bed like I thought you wouldn't be and so I ran out to the barn with your father hot on my heels. That is where we found you laying on the loft floor with a pool of blood surrounding you." Martha said with tears running down her face and she took her son in her arms and rocked them as she finished her story.

"I'm sorry mom, I never meant to be such a burden" Clark said knowing that he had tried wasn't the best thing to do, but all of the pain that he was feeling he just didn't know what to do with.

"Clark, you are never and will never be a burden to us. We love you and we realize that you are having a hard time." Martha said rocking Clark again once more.

"I should be normal just like everyone else" Clark said hearing the jeers of the people at school as he would walk down the hall or was in class.

"Clark, you are normal honey. Don't listen to what other say about you; because frankly they don't know you and if they did they would see what an amazing person you were and they would see how their cruel words affect you." Martha said before releasing him and then leaving the room to finish supper. Clark had to wonder on if what his mother said was true, because none of the people at school knew him and if they did it was to make fun of him because of his sort of crush on Lana or to jeer at him for being Lex's boy toy, since that could be they only logical reason for why the billionaire was speaking and friendly with Clark.

"Maybe mom is right" Clark whispered before trying to get out of bed and falling on the floor.

"Son, alright there?" Jonathan said as he heard the thump that came from Clark's fall.

"Yeah, just a little light headed" Clark said passing it off as no big deal.

"Well let me help you, going to the bathroom" Jonathan asked his son wanting to help his son as much as he could.

"Yeah and thanks dad" Clark said they slowly made their way down the hall to the bathroom.

"I'll be quick" Clark said closing the door behind him but then turning around and opening it just so that his father could watch him just in case he became light headed again.

"Just in case" Clark said before he took care of his business and then looked longingly at the tub that just begged for him to sink into.

"Come on supper should be finished soon and then you can have a soak in the tub" Jonathan said before guiding Clark back to his bed, just as Martha brought up two trays her arms.

"Here" Jonathan said grabbing one tray that held some food.

"We are going to eat together and since it is best for Clark to get rest, we eat here" Clark had to smile at how great his parents were being about him trying to kill himself again, for he was sure that if he was part of some other family he would not being getting as much support after the attempt as he was now. The three soon ate talking about what was going with the animals and the crops, and before they knew it supper was done and Martha and Jonathan had to bring up that Ethan has been able to get him into Celestino Academy and that someone would be arriving soon to take him there.

"Clark" Martha said taking a deep breath and letting it out as she saw that she had her son's attention.

"I first just want to say that we love you and don't think that we don't"

"Okay" Clark said looking at his parents and wondering on what they were going to say.

"Ethan contacted a friend of his, who works at an Academy for gifted and troubled teens." Martha said hoping that Clark wouldn't take this the wrong way.

"Okay" Clark said curious on why his parents were telling him this.

"Well, Ethan thought that you being out of Smallville and in a different environment would be best to help you heal. We know that there are things that you need to work through and your father and I just aren't equipped to help as much as we want to."

"Are you saying you are sending my away" Clark said with fear in his voice. He didn't want to go, that would mean that he wasn't normal or right and that was something that he couldn't handle right now.

"Clark, listen to me. We aren't sending you away to get rid of you; we are doing this so that you can heal. Staying here isn't going to help you, and the only thing that can is leaving so that you can meet other people that are on your same level." Martha said trying to make her son understand that this had nothing to do with lack of love on their part but so that Clark could meet other like him and help deal with his issues.

"Will you visit?" Clark whispered afraid to know that answer.

"Of course, any chance we can get" Jonathan said patting his son's shoulder.

"What's it going to be like?" Clark said warming up just a bit to the idea of the move due to the words that his father and mother spoke.

"Well the academy is for teens, which are very gifted and troubled at the same time. Like for instance there was a girl who went there a couple of years ago that was having the sort of trouble you are at school, but she broke by beating the head popular girl up. She is said to be brilliant in visual arts, and the people at school made fun of her since she was rarely seen outside of the computer lab that housed to visual arts computers that she worked on."

"How do you know this?" Clark asked very interested now at the story his mother just told him.

"They have a website and she was in the newsletter since she had now gone on to be the lead marketing designer for a huge marketing firm in New York." Martha said happy that Clark seemed to be opening up to the idea of transferring to the academy.

"Can I look" Clark asked and then got a nod from his mother on looking at the school that would soon be his home during the school year. A few days later had the phone ringing which had all three Kents wondering who it was.

"Kent Farms, Martha speaking" Martha said as she answered the phone. A frown took over Martha's face due to the person who was on the other end.

"Sorry" Martha said wondering on how to get rid of the caller.

"Mom" Clark asked with in a questioning in his voice. Martha waved her hand to show that there wasn't a problem and to continue what they were doing.

"Clark how about we finish up your packing while your mother takes that call?"

"Okay" Clark said as he made took one last look at his mother on the phone before making his way up the stairs to finish packing the items that he would taking to the academy. Once Clark was upstairs and Martha was certain of that she began to speak more freely.

"Lex what do you want?"

"I would like to speak to you about your son" Lex said in a tone that made Martha shiver.

"What about Clark" Martha said making sure that Clark wasn't in the stairway listening in.

"I was just informed that Clark is no longer a student at Smallville High"

"Yes" Martha said wanting to get this over with so that she could spend what little time she had with her son in peace and quiet.

"Is there a cause for concern? Should I be worried on Clark's wellbeing?" Martha began to breathe fire shortly there after Lex's words were spoken.

"You have nothing to worry about since you made it perfectly clear that you wished not to be associated with my son. It is not your concern" Martha said in a deadly whisper before hanging up the phone and then making her way to Clark's room where father and soon were fighting over shirts that Clark would be taking.

"Take this one" Jonathan said pulling out a shirt that Clark had gotten as a gift from one of the old ladies in town. It was a horrible orange color that clashed with the teal blue that run up and down the shirt.

"No way" Clark said throwing the shirt back at Jonathan and laughing. Clark felt good at being able to laugh and have fun with his parents. He had always hoped that Lex would be one of the people to be in the small circle that knew Clark Kent, but that didn't seem to be the case. Martha only laughed and helped with the packing with no mention of the phone call she had been on. It was early one morning about two days later that a car had come crunching into the drive of the farm. The door bell soon sounded and Clark opened the door with excitement and dredge in his heart.

"Hi" Clark said as he saw the petite woman standing in front of him.

"My name is Quay Kea, and I will be escorting you to Celestino Academy" the woman said with a warm smile on her face that had Clark smiling a small bit for someone besides his parents for the first time in what felt like months.

"Clark" Clark said in a shy voice before sticking out his hand for her to shake. Quay saw the hand and shook it with a light laugh afterwards.

"Strong grip" Clark blushed at the comment and turned around to look at his mom.

"Come in" Martha said as she stood behind her son.

"Thank you, this is a lovely farm you have" Quay said while taking a seat in a chair that near the door.

"We love it" Martha said as she watched the woman in front of her with a smile on her face. The group spoke for awhile before Quay decided that it was time to leave.

"Well we should get going, we have a bit of a drive ahead of us" Quay said standing and then making her way to the car to pop the trunk.

"I love you" Clark said to his parents as he hugged before going up the stairs to get the bags that they had packed for his move. Clark arrived back downstairs and then made his way to the car with his father following behind with tears in his eyes. He didn't want to see his son go, but he knew that it had to happen.

"Love you" Clark said hugging them both one last time before getting into the car.

"Love you too, and call us the minute you get there. Write us, call us whatever; we want to hear from you." Martha said before kissing his cheek and then backed away so that Quay could leave the farm.

"I will, talk to you soon! Love you!" Clark said waving his hand out the window before he disappeared from view.

"I'm going to miss him" Martha said watching the driveway not really seeing anything. Martha was jarred out of her thoughts at the car that had come into her field of vision.

"Luthor" Jonathan said with a sneer to his voice.

"Be nice" Martha said without any conviction to it.

"Only if you are" Jonathan said before the door to the car opened and allowed the youngest Luthor to get out of the car.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kent" Lex said in greeting while looking around trying to see Clark.

"Lex" Martha said her tone as frosty as a winter's day. Lex looked at her with an eyebrow raised in silent question. Martha just continued to stare Lex down.

"Is Clark by chance here?" Lex said trying to sound as if he wasn't concerned for the other young man.

"What's it to you" Jonathan jumped in when he could see that Martha wasn't going to answer Lex.

"Clark is my friend and I have every right to see him as a friend" Lex said getting angry at how the pair was treating him.

"Last I heard is that a friend was one of the last things you wanted to be with my son" Jonathan said, but never noticed the panic look in Lex's eyes.

"Why don't you go home Luthor and leave the caring for Clark to us" Jonathan said before taking his wife's hand and leading her in the house. Lex stood in the driveway for a few moments before storming to his car and flying out of the driveway in anger. Hours later had the Kent house being filled with a phone ringing.

"Hello" Martha said due to the hour of the day, knowing that no one ever called about business after 8 PM.

"Mom, I made it" Clark said over the phone before Martha began calling for Jonathan.

"Jonathan Kent get your butt in here our son's on the phone" a moment later had Jonathan and Martha putting Clark on speaker phone so that they could talk to their son. They never brought up the visit from Lex since they knew that it would make Clark worry about if Lex really cared for him and he didn't need to do that now. 

"I'll call you later" Clark said before hanging up the phone, deciding that he would try and start over here at the school. Once he had arrived Quay had taken him to the room that he would be sharing and soon got his things unpacked just in time for dinner. At dinner he had been introduced to the school and his roommate who had somehow managed to sit next to him. His roommate was a boy by the name of Giles Richards that came from Manhattan, New York. After dinner and the bonding time, Clark had sought out a phone to call his parents. He now was walking back to his room when he was stopped by a girl with short blonde hair that was done in a bob.

"Clark, right?" The girl said looking over Clark's body.

"Yeah" Clark said before waving to someone else that called out his name that was on the same floor as he was.

"My name is Tabatha Hays" the girl said holding onto Clark's hand.

"Oh" Clark said before taking his hand out of the girl's grip and moving away. He was saved from the impending question by Giles.

"Tabby cat go somewhere else, he's mine" Giles said coming to stand besides Clark.

"Gillyweed, don't make me…." the girl said before she was dragged away by a passing girl.

"What was that all about?" Clark asked as they made their way to their room.

"Tabatha Hays is the school whore, she will sleep with any and everything that walks I think. I think the only people who haven't slept with her are the teachers and gay guys, so be warned that she will continue to try until she sees you attached. You are after all a fine piece of man." Giles said snapping his fingers like a true gay guy would. Clark just laughed and nodded his head that he understood and would keep and eye out for Tabatha. The next morning had Giles showing Clark around and pointing out places that were considered "safe places" if things ever got to be too much and you wanted to be alone for a bit of time with the added benefit that someone watched those locations to make sure things didn't go south quickly. Clark had been shocked that Giles had stated that they watched you when you went there to think or calm down, but he then found out that it would be best since there would be someone who could help you through the problems that you were having. Giles had also stated that all of the teachers at the academy had their doors open to all students at any point in time to talk or even for something as small as being homesick. Clark had been relieved to hear these sorts of things, because he could feel that he would beat the issues that he was having and get better.

"Clark" Giles said as he came into the dorm room and dropped his bag at the door as he searched out his roommate.

"Clark" Giles called out again before getting no response and then making his way to the computer lab where Clark seemed to spend all of this time. Even though Clark had been here for two months, Giles had learned Clark's quirks, like for instance he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Clark was in the tutoring lab or the computer lab, helping out some of the freshman students that were at the academy or working on his latest project. Giles made it into the room where he could see Clark's huge figure standing over a smaller boy that came to the tutoring sessions on a regular basis. Giles had found out from Clark that Thom, which was the boy's name, was here because he was abused and had been placed under the care of Quay and had been given the option of attending or not. Clark had said that Thom had cried to Clark for most of the session because he had been one of the first students to pay any attention to him. Giles then found out that Clark's reason for being here was because people tended to spend a bit too much time paying attention to him, and not in a positive manner. Giles had wanted to kill not only the students of Smallville High School, but also the people who had abused Thom. Even now Thom was worried that the battle that was being fought over him by the people who had abused him and Quay, that Quay would lose and he would be back there.

"Clark, Thom" Giles said before plopping down in the chair next to Thom and looking over the homework that Clark was helping Thom with.

"Algebra, yuck" Giles said before turning to his roommate with a smile on his face that told Clark that he had fear for him life over what Giles had done or was going to do, all in the name of Clark and his horrible self-esteem.

"Giles, what have you done?" Clark said before smiling at Thom as the boy began to laugh at the hurt look that Giles gave Clark.

"How could you say something like that?"

"Because the only reason you venture in this room is because you have done something and want to tell me about it. So spill" Clark said sitting next to Thom so that the boy could hear what stupid thing that Giles had done now.

"Clark, you wound me"

"Don't care"

"Fine…..I managed to talk Quay into letting us go off campus for a night when our parents come." Giles beamed at Clark as if he had won the Gold medal.

"In exchange for what" Clark said knowing Giles too well to not know there was a catch.

"Two free weekends in the year" Giles said knowing that he couldn't pass anything off on Clark.

"Hmmm" Clark said thinking about if he really wanted to be off campus with his parents after getting here just two months ago. Clark still had thoughts of cutting himself, but had so far done nothing to complete those thoughts. He would see when his parents arrived what they thought.

"So good" Giles said looking at Clark with hope in his eyes, before Clark had arrived Giles was one of the most violent students that Celestino had but now he would seek for Clark's approval and that had done a world of good.

"Good" Clark said before nodding his head and then going back to tutoring Thom. It was an hour later that had Clark walking into the dinning room and taking a seat next to Giles, who was talking to his boyfriend Nevan.

"I tell you, we should go off and party" Giles was saying before looking over to Clark for approval of the idea.

"What Giles are you planning now?" Clark said before laughing at the look Nevan gave him. Nevan had a hard time keeping Giles in line some times so Clark was always glad to help the other man out.

"Well, I was talking about having a party on the "friends" day for the academy. Neither one of us has any "friends" we want to invite from out there, so we should just all hook-up and party in the common room or something." Giles said looking at Clark with something that made Clark want to not ask questions on this idea.

"Okay" Clark said before loading his plate up with food. Dinner progressed with Giles telling anyone who would listen that there would be a part in the common room on "friends" day, should they not want to hide in their rooms. The party seemed well received by most, and Giles had a bounce in his step all the way back to the room.

"Clark, have you seen this?" Giles said reading the newspaper for the town of Leavenworth.

"What" Clark said before coming over and seeing the headline of the paper.

'**Luthor heir breaks from father'** Clark read the article with a shocked look to his face. In none of his conversations with his parents did they say anything about Lex starting Lex Corp. Clark was proud of Lex for doing it, but he was also sad to not be a part of that or Lex's life any longer.

"I wouldn't mind a piece of that" Giles said drooling over the picture that had Lex leaning against the glass office table in the castle. He looked calm, cool and suave and it made Clark's heart ache for Lex. Clark also noticed that there seemed to be bags under Lex's eyes and that there was a slight slump the older man's shoulder if you knew how to read the other. Clark shook off the shock, pain and questions about Lex and told Giles that he hadn't known; and that Lex probably wouldn't go for Giles since he was in a relationship. Giles of course had responded that, he could be free if that was necessary. Clark could only laugh at Giles and his gay guy routine.

Meanwhile in Smallville, Lex Luthor was about to find something out about Clark that would set guilt in his heart. Lex drove to the farm house that he had visited for the past two months a total of eight times. He had come weekly to see his friend, but every time he was there Martha would tell him that Clark wasn't there. He of course didn't know that she meant literally, Clark wasn't there so Lex had returned each week to see his friends. This week though he would find out where Clark was, since he was away. Lex got out of his car after looking at the house trying to see any signs that Clark was there. He didn't see any foot pints in the frost that showed that Clark was there, so he made his way to the front door. He was of course greeted by Martha and Lex had the excuse of needing to change his order for the week since he was going to be out of town, so the order needed to be reduced. Martha had stated that she would be right back and walked off to get a pad of paper to write down all that would be needed to be reduced. It was then that he saw the letter sitting on the pile of mail that was in Clark's handwriting. He had seen it enough to know that it was Clark's; he became confused on why Clark would be writing to the house if he was staying there. His answer came when he saw the address up in the top left hand corner which stated that the letter had come from 210 St. Lawrence St. in Leavenworth, KS. Lex had taken his PDA out and jotted the address down before waiting for Martha to return, it was shortly there after that Lex asked for Clark and received the same answer.

"Clark get your sorry ass down here you have a visitor" Giles said in a stunned voice, for there standing in front of him was Lex Luthor in the flesh.

"What…." Clark said before coming to stand in front of Lex with Giles by his side.

"Come to gawk?" Clark asked angry that Lex had found him here and sad that Lex had done this to him. He never thought of Lex as a vindictive person in the sense of it took at a lot to have the wrath of the Luthor, and he didn't think that telling Lex that he tried to commit suicide was something that would have the wrath of Luthor on him for.

"No, Clark. Can we talk?" Lex said staring at Giles, and then stated to Giles that he wanted to speak to Clark privately. Giles was about to pipe up before Lex glared him down, and had him turning tail and running away.

"I don't think that was necessary" Clark said he made his way to a room where they could talk privately, which meant that they had to go to one of the "time out" rooms that people would use when things got too much with the teacher and students or to the AWOL rooms. These were used on occasion when a student had gone AWOL from either the campus or their daily sessions with the therapist on hand.

"What is this place" Lex said looking around the room.

"This room or this building?" Clark said not knowing how he should answer.

"Both" Lex said having a bit of an idea on the building part, but having no clue as to what the room was used for.

"Well you are currently at Celestino Academy for the Gifted and Troubled, and this room is a private room used for AWOL students." Clark said looking around the room.

"Why are you here?" Lex said wondering on if Clark would answer his question or not. He had missed his friend terribly, and the thought of what he had done to Clark a few months back made his heart hurt. He didn't think at the time that having Clark close while dealing with Lionel was a good idea, now though he saw that it was all for naught since his father had tried to take him down by publishing his teen scandals when he was at boarding school.

"Lex" Clark said with a sigh, he didn't want to talk to Lex about this but he knew the other man would stop at nothing to figure out what was going on with him.

"I….I tried to kill myself again" Clark said looking at his hands, so he didn't notice the look of pure rage and sadness on Lex's face.

"Why" Lex said grabbing one of Clark's hands so that Clark would look at him. Clark looked up in shock before speaking.

"I went to school one day and when I arrived I found my locker cover in horrible words and the inside filled with red jell-o…..Go Crows!" Clark said sarcastically. Lex chuckled at Clark words at the end, but began to boil with rage over what he had just heard.

"Who did it and why?" Lex said wanting to know who had just brought the wrath of Lex Luthor on them.

"Mom said they never found out, since I withdrew from school. Mr. Gibbons didn't take anymore time to look once I was gone. I bet it was Pete Ross and Whitney Fordman, they are the only two people who would be stupid enough to do that." Clark said thinking on if he had seen any of the other jocks laughing as hard as those two had been.

"They will be punished" Lex said before Clark threw a question back at him that surprised him.

"Why do you care? You made it perfectly clear that you didn't want to be my friend." Clark said tears glimmering in his eyes. Lex thought over the question and words of Clark before taking a leap and telling Clark a secret of him own.

"I care because I care about you….friends is one of the last things I want with you" Lex said before Clark pushed him away from him and stood in a corner.

"Get out" Clark whispered with tears now running down his face.

"No, because there is more to what I have to say." Lex said coming closer to Clark as he sat in the corner of the room on the floor.

"The reason why friendship is the last thing I want with you is because I want your love more" Lex said before placing his hand on Clark's cheek where the tears were still rolling.

"What" Clark asked confused on what he was hearing.

"I want your love more and if that means that we can't friends then so be it, but I want to be your lover more" Lex said now running his thumb over Clark's cheek.

"Really" Clark said looking at Lex in hope. He had in the short time he was here figured out that he himself was in love with Lex, which is why the brush off hurt all the more.

"Really" Lex said before kissing Clark lightly on the lips. Clark closed his eyes and savored the feel and taste of Lex on his lips.

"Lex" Clark said after they broke apart but where now sitting next to each other; holding the other's hand.

"Clark" Lex said while running his thumb over Clark's hand.

"Why did you stop talking to me then?"

"As you probably saw in the paper, I started my own company; Lex Corp. I thought that if my father didn't see how much you meant to me that when he wanted his revenge that he wouldn't take it out with you in the middle. It worked better than expected though, because now my father is dealing with the backlash of the scandals that he had printed about me." Lex said with a dry chuckle at the end.

"What" Clark said confused on what Lex was talking about. He knew about the company but that was it.

"For the last two weeks my father has been dealing with companies that have their contracts up for renewal backing out and coming to me instead. My father thought that printing what a horrible teen I was would make him look good, the only thing it did was show the world that Lionel Luthor didn't and doesn't care for him son." Lex said he had been hurt that his father would go to such extremes but then realized that this was his chance to break free of the Luthor cycle and start his own path and he had done just that.

"Are you okay" Clark asked concerned for his friend/something more.

"Couldn't be better…." Lex said before standing up off the floor and making his way to the bed that lay in the room.

"Come here Clark" Lex said patting the bed before digging in his pocket for his cell phone that began to ring.

"Lex" Clark said as he watched Lex search his jacket pockets to find the ringing cell phone.

"Luthor" Lex barked into the phone while still holding onto Clark's hand, once he found the phone.

"Ah, father what a not so pleasant surprise" Lex said before listening to Lionel rant before hanging up on his father. He had better things to do and one of them was sitting next to him.

"Lex" Clark asked before his lips were met with Lex's again.

"Can you leave campus?" Lex said wanting to spend some alone time with Clark off school grounds.

"I don't know" Clark said before standing up and making his way to the door. He knew that they had a lot to work out, but they could work most of it out in the horizontal position, if you asked Lex.

"Clark" Lex said standing on the other side of the doorway with a look of sadness on his face. He had hoped that Clark would allow him to show him how much he meant to him, but it seemed not to be.

"Lex" Clark said grabbing Lex's hand and walking towards Quay's room to ask permission to leave campus. Clark hadn't taken his days to leave campus when his parents came and since he had no friends, for friends day just sat and chilled with Giles and Nevan.

"Clark" Quay said looking at the two men in front of her with shock on her face.

"Can I leave campus for the night?" Clark asked with his face turning pink with the question.

"Clark?" Quay said with a question in her voice as to why she should allow Clark to go with Lex off campus.

"Please" Clark said knowing that she was asking him if this was really a good idea.

"Clark you know the rules" Quay said eyeing Lex, wondering on why the Luthor heir was there and with Clark. Clark nodded his head and turned around; making his way outside and to one of the fields that surrounded the school. Lex on the other hand gave her the evil eye and followed Clark to the field. Once they arrived outside and were surrounded by tall, dry grass Lex made his move by pulling Clark closer and kissing him. Clark could only moan at the feel of Lex's lips against his, he had longed for this and could only hope that he would have this in the future.

"Lex" Clark said as they broke away for air. He knew that he needed to slow things down before he did something that he wasn't ready for, and making love to Lex so soon after his last suicide attempt was not a good idea to Clark. Lex either didn't hear or chose not to hear what Clark said and then began to dive back in for a kiss. Clark pulled back, wanting to talk to Lex about how things were going to progress and about life in general.

"Clark" Lex said with a put-out sigh. Clark heard the sigh and began to wonder on if even seeing Lex was a good idea now, for someone pushing him to do what they wanted him to do was not what he needed right now.

"Lex, please" Clark said now pushing a bit away from Lex so that he could try and think with a clear head. When he had first seen Lex, his heart had leapt at the chance that Lex was there to smooth things over, now though he had to wonder on if things were a bit too boring back in town and thought to make a fool of Clark one more time. This time Lex drew back to see the confusion and something else in Clark's eyes.

"Clark" Lex said now pulling all the way back and waiting for Clark to start speaking.

"Lex, this….this between us needs to slow down" Clark said waving his hands between the two of them. Lex only raised an eyebrow at the words and waited for Clark to finish.

"I need time to get back on track, and being with you like this so soon isn't what I need right now. I may want this, but I know that doing things fast now will hurt either me or you in the end and I can't have that happen." Clark said before deflating from the speech he had just given. Lex nodded his head before he began to mull over the words that Clark spoke, he knew that the younger man was right but he couldn't stop the thought that Clark was only putting him off.

"Clark" Lex said taking Clark's hand and holding it in his hand while speaking.

"I understand, but I can't help but want and need more" Lex said trying to make Clark see his point of view. Clark nodded his head, but knew to keep silent since Lex wasn't done speaking.

"But my wants and needs can wait for you, because you are worth waiting for" Lex said seeing that Clark now had tears in his eyes.

"Clark" Lex said wiping away the tears that had fallen from Clark's eyes. Clark could only nod his head before kissing Lex in acceptance.

"Soon" Clark said when he pulled forward and rested his forehead against Lex's. Lex just nodded knowing that he would soon be with the love of his life soon enough.

_~Year and a half Later~_

"Come on Clark, you're going to be late" Martha called out to Clark who stood in the group of students that were all dressed in graduation gowns.

"Coming" Clark shouted back before making his way over to where his parents stood waiting for the ceremony to start.

"Have you seen Lex" Clark said looking around for the one person that meant more to him then his parents did.

"No, but he said be would be here" Martha said trying to calm her excited son down. She smiled remembering the entire heart ache they had gone through, but decided that if she had to do it again she would for now her son was more confident and happier than she had ever seen him. A few moments later had Clark running to his seat so that the ceremony could start. It was while the headmaster of the academy spoke, Lex made his way to the stands where the Kents sat holding him a spot.

"Kent, Clark" the headmaster said waiting for Clark to arrive to receive his diploma. As Clark looked out over the crowd he saw Lex and flashed a smile that had most of the women in the room sighing and swooning at Clark. Lex only raised an eyebrow and looked around the room before smirking and licking his lips. Clark blushed and made his way off stage quickly. Soon after the ceremony finished, Clark made his way toward his parents and Lex.

"Lex!" Clark said grabbing Lex and burying his face into the crook of Lex's shoulder and neck.

"Clark" Lex said with a genuine smile on his face.

"Missed you" Clark said kissing the side of Lex's neck before letting go and holding the other's hand.

"Me too" Lex said squeezing the hand just a bit more before speaking with the Kents about letting Clark spend the evening with him. Both agreed knowing that Clark was ready and that Lex wouldn't break their son's heart, because if he did there would be pain or maybe even death and Lex wasn't stupid enough to invoke the wrath of the Kents.

"Here we are" Lex said walking into the small house that Lex bought as soon as he had found Clark. When Clark walked in his moth dropped open, because the whole house was lit with candles and soft lights.

"Lex" Clark said looking around the house and seeing that Lex had gone to the extreme for him on his.

"All for you" Lex said before pulling Clark to him and kissing the younger man with all that he had. He wanted tonight to be perfect and the first step was to get Clark naked as soon as possible. When they broke for air, Clark took Lex's hand and dragged Lex to the master bedroom at the door Clark spoke the two words Lex had been waiting for.

"I'm ready"

"Sure" Lex said before he received a nod in response, and then opened the door.

"Lex" Clark said eyes alight with lust and happiness that Lex took the time to make everything perfect. The white Egyptian cotton sheets that Clark said he loved lay on the bed, clean and crisp. The gray duvet cover turned down to show the sheets and pillows that lined the top of the bed. Once inside the room, Lex took over with bringing Clark to the bed and stripping him of his clothes as he worked with exploring his boy.

"Lex" Clark moaned out as Lex went to take his large member into his mouth.

"Leeeeeex" Clark moaned out again and he tugged at Lex's shirt to say that he had too many clothes on. Lex complied at once stripping down with no real fuss as most wanted to do with him. Soon lips and bodies met skin for skin for the first time and had both of them moaning and grinding harder against each other.

"In me" Clark repeated until it reached Lex's lust filled brain. Once registered Lex went to the side table and pulled out the lube that would be need to prepare Clark.

"Up" Lex said slapping Clark's hip a bit to get the body to move. Clark nodded and lifted his back up by placing his feet flat on the bed.

"Good" Lex said as he gently stuck one finger in that had Clark gasping for breath.

"Relax" Lex said probing Clark's body before hitting the sweet spot that had Clark yelling out for more. Lex knew better than to fight and continued to prepare Clark for his cock.

"In me Lex" Clark pleaded one last time before Lex pulled out the four fingers that had managed their way into Clark's body. Clark let out a whine when the fingers fell away but that didn't last long before Lex lined up his cock to Clark's hole and slowly entered.

"Full, complete" Clark babbled once Lex was fully sheathed in Clark's body. It was at those words that Lex began to move his body with small thrusts that had Clark mewling for more. As Lex set the pace Clark began to babble words of love while stroking him self.

"Mine" Lex said once he noticed that Clark was stroking him self.

"Yours" Clark said letting Lex take over and enjoying the possessiveness that Lex was showing to him. Five pumps later and Clark was screaming Lex's name, while Lex picked up the pace to complete their love making.

"Lex"

"Clark" was screamed by each other when their orgasm hit. Nothing could take away from the moment that had both men speechless.

"Love you" Clark mumbled before laying his head on Lex's chest while Lex ran his hands through Clark's hair thinking about the amazing sex they had just had. 'Not sex…made love' Lex thought while he looked down at Clark and smiled. It was with the thought that with Pain begets love and a love that would last a life time and beyond if given the chance; that Lex fell asleep content and happy for the one of the first times since he was a child.


End file.
